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Cyril’s essential guide to the Craic Tour!

Date: Tuesday, 9 Aug 2016
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The Cyril Kenny Craic Tour of Ireland

My name is Cyril Francis Martin Kenny from Kilkenny and every year I go on a journey.

Not just any journey, a journey with our customers and staff on a mission to find the real ‘craic’ in Ireland and to find out what it really means to be Irish. What is the ‘craic’ you might ask and that my friend is a very good question, to which there is no real answer.

It is something you have to experience first hand and what better way than on an unforgettable 5 day trip to Ireland with me, the official Rí Rá Pub Ambassador. It has taken a lot of night’s out, pint drinking and pub crawling to actually earn this title so you are in good hands. I guarantee the craic will be mighty, the banter will be flowing and the hangovers legendary. Over breakfast we will recant the fun we had the night before, be reminded of the great moments we had forgotten and get ready for another day of adventure.

I have put together some little hints and tips ahead of our next journey and if you remember these you will be golden!!

  • To us Irish, drinking is a sacred pastime. In other words, the Irish take their drinking very, very seriously.
  • You may find yourself in a pub at least once a day. OK, more like twice a day or perhaps all day… don’t worry that’s normal.
  • On entering a pub, don’t wait to be seated, you will be left waiting.
  • Keep your hands off the Guinness until the bartender hands it to you. The “perfect pour” is a tradition in Ireland, consisting of a two part pour.
  • If someone buys you a drink, buy them one back.
  • Don’t attempt to pay for one drink on a credit card.
  • Opening a tab can be done, but we’d rather not.
  • If you’re really drunk, you’re “locked” or “langered.” If you’re under the table, the locals will say you’re “ossified,” “paralytic,”
  • Sometimes it’s best to forego the booze, and have a “mineral” (a soft drink).
  • Us Irish will talk to anyone, if you don’t know what to talk about, the preferred topic of conversation in such situations is often the weather – there is always plenty to discuss when it comes to Ireland’s weather!
  • Do not greet people with “Top of the morning” or say goodbye to them with “May the road rise to meet you”! Nobody Irish outside of a bad movie has ever said any of these things.
  • Socks and sandals don’t do it … you will stand out like a sore thumb.
  • Go to the chipper and order a battered sausage… you will not be disappointed!
  • The usual way to tell the difference between winter and summer in Ireland is to measure the temperature of the rain.
  • The use of “the F word” is also very common in public, it’s even often used in a friendly way, it’s just a very unfortunate national habit.
  • If you wake up on a morning and can’t remember what happened the night before then it is a sign of a great night out.